Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. He’s absolutely correct, but maybe not for the reasons you think.
In Tibetan Buddhism, the word “dharma” has three different but interconnected meanings. The most common way to use the term is as the received wisdom of the tradition — the sacred texts, commentaries, and parables used to explain the teachings. It can also refer to something more profound, like the hidden logic of existence — the “mind of God” or the meaning of life, the universe, and everything — something we might call “big ‘d’ Dharma.” Big ‘d’ Dharma is the ineffable reality that the dharma writings can only partially capture. But more interestingly, dharma also refers to the mundane stuff of everyday life. Every encounter you have with another person, every question that makes you scratch your head, every interaction that provokes you — all of these are also dharma.
The lojong tells us that “all dharma agree at one point” and it is this aspect of the dharma that brings all three aspects together and keeps them in motion.
Dharma is the answer to the question “what does it mean to live life well?” Therefore it exists in every moment of our lives as we struggle to find our way through. And since it is the fundamental question of existence, it is something that every human has addressed in one way or another every since we developed self-awareness. Every life is, in essence, a living laboratory to test various “dharma hypotheses.” Over time, collectively, we have started to gather the ideas that work (and the red herrings) and write them down so we don’t forget and to help, we hope, following generations.
Of course, sometimes help is no help. While we all crave the single, unchanging, definitive answer (42), the reality is that we must each (re)discover our own dharma. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that asking the question “what does it mean to live this life well?” is the dharma. We can draw on the experience of others, but ultimately, we must test those ideas in our lives to find real meaning. That, in my mind, is Socrates’ point.
To be clear, though, “examination” is not navel gazing. It is not thinking big thoughts and refining your logical arguments. The dharma is embedded in what you do and what you experience not in what you think. Our little brains, as remarkable as they are, come with a host of known biases and heuristics that often blind us to our own experience. What you think and what you believe are routinely the result of insecurity and ego-defense mechanisms. More often than not, what you believe actually stands between you and a life well-lived.
The good news is that there is a simple, effective process for uncovering and working with your own dharma. I have begun to think of dharma as Life the Teacher — a guide in my life that desperately wants me to learn the lessons and move on to greater and greater happiness. As a result, it leaves clues in plain sight, if only I take the time to see them.
The process is based on the twin mechanisms of karma and flow. We can think of these as the indicator lights on your dharma dashboard: karma flashing red, flow glowing green. Flow moments are those times when everything seems to click and we have a sense that this is what I am here to do — this moment right here is something I will look back on in the future and know I was spending my time well. It is amazing how much you can learn from simply taking the time to notice what is working well, explore the preconditions that contribute to those moments and find ways to build them into your life. You may not be able to have a peak experience on command, but you can create the conditions that make them more likely.
Karma provides the converse lesson. Whenever something provokes us — makes us angry, depressed, demotivated, obsessive — it provides an opportunity to discover and learn what not to do. It provides us an escape from insanity. There is an old saying that goes “never point for a dog, the dog will just stare at your finger.” This is the main challenge we face when examining karma: we put tape over the flashing “check engine” light instead of actually checking the engine. An ironclad law is that karma is always about you; never about “them.” It is an invitation to look at how you are living your life and to find ways to live it better.
In the end, all that is required to nurture the life well-lived is to pause and reflect and learn from Life the Teacher — learn from your own experiences, both positive and negative. Look below the surface of experience to draw out the lessons of cause and effect and then take small, concrete actions to incorporate those lessons into your life.
But remember, simple is not the same as easy. Learning from life and living life well doesn’t require a heroic effort — it would be easier if it did. It requires commitment, persistence, and a bone-level understanding that discipline is the difference between what you want now and what you want most. As Annie Dillard says, how we live our days is, of course, how we live our lives, so both reflection and the changes in behaviour it suggests must be incorporated into everyday living. There really is no tomorrow.
I find it interesting how often people resist this idea. It seems so obvious as to hardly need mentioning:
- Learn from / trust your own experience.
- Do more things that lead to positive results.
- Stop doing things that lead to negative results.
- Make this a habit.
I can tell you from personal experience that it works and it’s really very simple. But that is all I can do. It’s up to you to take it from here.
Check out Radical Happiness to see why I think it is so urgent for each of us to start learning the lessons life is offering.
